It’s that time again. Time when everyone is focused on love and romance. It’s Valentine’s Day. Again. So,what if you are not in a romantic relationship, or if the one you are in is less than satisfactory? This can be a time where you feel alone and “less than”. Many of my clients have reported increased symptoms of depression and feelings of isolation during this season due to being alone, or to not having relationships that live up to the commercials on television.
A friend shared an idea with me recently that has changed my life and the lives of many of my clients. She said to me one day, “I am going to treat myself like I would a man I was in love with.” So simple. So profound. I began to toy with the idea of what would happen if we turned that tender, loving energy that we would give a lover inward, on ourselves.
What if we began to notice the little things that bring ourselves joy, and to do them as a gift to our lover-self? What if we made time to do the things that nurture our spirit as an act of pouring love on ourselves? How about speaking those little words of affirmation and support in an intimate whisper when we need to hear them most? Or looking deep into our own eyes and forgiving ourselves for not being perfect, embracing the broken pieces, just like we would the “other” in a relationship? Even the way we relate to our own bodies could change if we learned to accept and embrace them lovingly.
I began sharing this philosophy with my clients and they reported back with tears of fragile hope that poured down their faces when they looked themselves tenderly in the mirror and said “I love you.” One client stated that he realized that he would never use the kind of talk or tone with a lover that he used with himself on a daily basis, and he began to change that negative internal dialogue. Another reported that her relationship was improving because she was displaying better boundaries with her spouse, spurred by her newly cultivated loving relationship with herself. Yet another reported that during his daily meditation time he focused that loving energy inward, and that it was a sacred experience for him to sit daily in the presence of that unconditional love.
This Valentine’s day I would encourage all of us, not just those who are single, or whose relationships are less than fulfilling, to tap into that flow of love that we long to send to others, and to visualize turning it inward. I wonder what change we could make in the world if we loved ourselves this way. I wonder how much more effective all our lives would be if we first focused on filling our own “love tanks”.
Donna Terrazas and I will be conducting a meditation and manifestation workshop at TRU Integrative Health and Wellness Sunday February 26.we will focus on manifesting love in our lives, both with ourselves and in relationships with others, and we will be exploring this topic of self love in depth. We urge you to join us! Check out www.carolyntuckertherapist.com. Let’s begin a movement today of falling in love with ourselves, and see where it takes us!